Photographically Speaking

From A to Z, here are some lesser-known photography phrases:

Aggressive pixels – A picture shot extremely tight. For example: when all others are using a 70-200mm lens, the photographer using a 400mm lens is said to be shooting aggressive pixels.

American Idol Effect – A reference to photo sites like Flickr.

Autotard – A photographer who always uses their camera on the “Auto” setting.

Available darkness – Shooting in a dark location without flash.

Baby zoomer – A wide-angle zoom lens.

Bacon assignment – A job that pays much more than it’s worth.

Bobbleheading – When a photographer checks every picture right after taking it. The photographer takes a picture then lowers their head to look at the LCD, then raises their head to take the next picture, then lowers their head to check the LCD, then raises their head to shoot, then lowers their head . . .

Brandalism – When a photographer covers the logos on their camera gear with tape.

Brandroid – A photographer who uses the brightly coloured, logo-covered camera strap that came with their camera. Such photographers also often wear the camera brand hat, the camera brand t-shirt and cover their equipment cases with the camera brand stickers.

Bricks and mortar shooter – A studio-based photographer.

Carbecue – When a photographer eats in their car between assignments.

Cash flow bandit – A customer who’s late to pay.

Chopshopping – Trying to salvage an acceptable image from a lousy photo by using excessive cropping.

Citizen journalist – Another phrase for “cell phone owner.”

Coin-operated – A freelancer.

Connectile dysfunction – When a photographer can’t connect to the WiFi at an event.

Co-opetition – When competing photographers have to work together in a small photo area.

Crop dusting – Weeding out all the bad pictures before posting the images for the client to proof.

Critical mass – The number of photographers who have to complain before the event organizer takes action.

Crowdsourcing – What a newspaper does to hamsterize its content. (See hamsterize).

Deferred success – When business is slow. “I’m going through a period of deferred success right now.”

Digisaurus – A photographer who uses a digital camera that’s more than two generations old.

Digital diet – When a photographer’s spouse won’t let them buy another new camera.

Double exposure – Eating two stadium hot dogs.

Draining pixels – Transferring image files from memory card to computer.

Electron hog – A photographer who takes up too many electrical outlets by plugging in their laptop, external drives, camera battery chargers, cell phone charger, AA battery chargers…

Early-birding – Arriving at an event several hours ahead of time to get a good shooting position.

Ego surfing – When a photographer searches the Web right after an event to see how many sites are using their pictures.

Embedded – A photographer who’s shooting for the event organizers or sponsors.

Fairy dusting – Applying a very high amount of sharpening to save a soft picture.

Fat focus – When a picture is tack sharp and then some.

Fauxtographer – A camera owner who relies on all the trendy photo apps and plugins.

Financial pit stop – Stopping at an ATM to get some cash.

Filmasaurus – A photographer who still shoots film.

Flashturbater – A photographer who flashes everything and usually at f16.

Flash-n-dash – An assignment where the photographer runs in, shoots a few frames and then leaves. Also known as a “drive-thru assignment”, a “drive-by shooting” or simply a “drive-by.”

Flasherati – Another term for paparazzi.

Freelance flush – Near the end of the year when a publication or agency runs out of budget and cuts off all freelancers until the new year.

Freetographer – A photographer who works for free.

Glass envy – When photographers ogle each other’s lenses.

Hamsterize – When an agency uses many cheap or free photographers to cover an event and it expects the sheer quantity of pictures to compensate for the lack of quality, that agency has hamsterized its coverage.

Idiot fee – A legitimate fee that needs to be charged when dealing with some customers.

Imagineering – Planning an upcoming photo assignment.

Job spill – When an assignment runs longer than planned.

Karaoke Klickr – Someone who copies other photographers’ work then posts and brags about “their” pictures on their Flickr page.

Late-birding – Arriving late at an event. “I’ll be late-birding the hockey game tomorrow because I have to do the mayor’s press conference first.”

Left lane – Work faster. “I have to left lane this job since they need the pictures tomorrow”.

Lensing – To take photos. “I’ll be lensing a few business portraits tomorrow.”

Lens licker – An amateur who owns all the latest pro gear and uses it only to take pictures of the gear itself or of themselves holding said gear.

Monopod forest – A crowded photo pit where every photographer is holding a long lens on a monopod.

Not the fastest lens in the bag – A reference to a dimwitted photographer. (Also known as “Not the sharpest lens in the bag”).

Over-lensed – When a lens is too long to make a picture. “It happened right in front of me but I was over-lensed.”

Over-tooled – Bringing too much equipment to an assignment.

Photo squatter – A photographer who covers events for their own entertainment rather than for paying customers.

Pix for clicks – Shooting on commission for a cheap stock agency.

Pay wall – When an event changes from free media food to pay food.

Photo-op – A guaranteed waste of a photographer’s time.

Photosensitive – A photographer who can’t take criticism of their pictures.

Photo-toxic – Public relations flacks who get in the way.

Playoff princess – A photographer who doesn’t cover the regular season but only shows up for the playoffs.

Podcasting – When a photographer marks their position by leaving their tripod or monopod in place. (Also known as “carding” – taping a business card in place.)

Quantum leap – When the belt clip fails and a Quantum flash battery falls to the ground.

Quadruple time – What a photographer would like to charge.

Quote Queen – A customer who frequently asks for quotes but never hires the photographer.

Re-pixelize – Doing a reshoot.

Ringxiety –  What many freelancers suffer while waiting for the phone to ring.

Shutternaut – A photographer who shoots an excessive number of frames.

Spray job – An assignment that requires shooting anything and everything because the client doesn’t know what they want.

Stockalypse – A reference to cheap stock agencies and their photographers.

Subject failure – When a camera’s auto functions fail to produce a good picture.

Thin focus – A slightly out-of-focus image.

Toyographer – Someone who buys the newest photo gear and only takes pictures of their cat or dog. Also refers to people who use plastic toy cameras.

Treeware – A newspaper or magazine. “I’m doing some portraits for a business treeware in Toronto.”

Twitterazzi – People who swarm around and take cell phone snaps of any minor celebrity or event they happen to encounter and then post it via Twitter thinking that they’ve just uncovered front-page news. (See also citizen journalist.)

Twitterize – When a news organization depends on Twitter for its news gathering. (See also hamsterize.)

Under-lensed – When a lens is too short to make a picture. “It happened on the other side of the field but I was under-lensed.”

Under-tooled – Forgetting to bring a certain piece of equipment to a job.

Visioning a photo – Another phrase for “photoshopping.”

Wardrobe malfunction – When a photographer wears jeans to a corporate shoot.

Webicide –  When a photographer has a crappy web site or no site at all.

WordPress Effect – When someone thinks they’re a journalist because they have a blog.

Xerox shooter – A photographer who copies other photographers.

X-rayed – A grossly over-exposed portrait where the person’s skin is totally blown out. “Geez, I really x-rayed that guy.”

Yacht race – A row of photographers each with a gigantic and expensive lens.

Yesterday – When some customers expect their pictures.

Zoomaphobic – A photographer who leans or moves forward (and blocks everyone behind them) rather than just zooming their lens.

Zombie shooting – Doing a number of quick, passport-like portraits.

 

Photographically Speaking
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